Old Mall


As old as tomorrow… With untold floors of FRESH exciting MERCHANDISE, exquisite fixturing, a large, easy-to-use PARKADE OF THE DAMNED and a fine staff of ATTENTIVE SALES ENTITIES… It’s OLD MALL! This volume presents the results of parallel surrealist expeditions to “old malls” in two North American cities. Undertaken in early 2020, these “gothic” experiences foreshadowed the closure of commercial zones throughout the world by a matter of weeks. Specials include:

The Mysterious and Somnolent “ZOPI”
The Skeleton in the Green Hat
The Ghost Hunters in the Bathroom
The Death Shroud Puppet Play
“Good Stuff”
The Street of the Unisex Image

And much more! Save or be saved at OLD MALL

PRINT VERSION: https://tinyurl.com/t2gssf8
FREE DIGITAL PDF: https://tinyurl.com/u3x3j34

Long time no see…

JA, SH, PP, L, – messing around on video chat during our mandated misanthropy. Each of us chose and drew a corner simultaneously and then scanned it. Lake then combined them into a chimera-corpse. Maybe it’s a group portrait or a forgotten narrative of a meeting that could never happen.

March 24, 2020

Anaerobic Poems – M Forshage

One of the things introduced in our Object Beautician zine was the concept of “anaerobic poetry”. The theory is that withholding the breath while scouring the surrealist voice for interesting offerings might prompt a special urgency or dynamic to whatever short poem could be rattled off in that state.

Our friend M Forshage in Stockholm recently gave it a try, the results of which results we share below.

1
Seven spells of sausage rhymes
Automatically and intestine-wise
As if barking up a rare willow
One without the right kind of lianas and bare twigs

2
The insolent popstar
and his crew of battle squirrels
aimlessly through the milky void

3
Synchronise sadly
the breadcrumbs of inevitability
housing the future of death and other joys

4
Acclimatise the entire sorority
Make it migrate elsewhere
With several new songs
And whimpering flagpoles
And a dead rodent

5
Whenever a sad cat opens his trolley and the bad nostrils get their appetite satisfied our hands will keep shaking to salute the onslaught of birdrings

6
An intimate source of powerful negotiations is the dead strollers negating the countdown

7
Likewise, never asked you to perform this particular sample, odd as it is

8
My crossbow at the mercy of a thunderstorm and a bowl of sugar ne/

9
Defenestrate the essential countdown and make every consonant swallowed count as a feast of swift nests

10
Excentric into secrecy
the white foam of secrecy
exclusive formed by the moon
and its differences
all its differences



TerseFest 2020

In response to the distasteful advertising of certain overly loquacious events, the silent menace society of Ottawa have committed to putting on a new festival for the promotion of the retentive arts.

This year, TerseFest will be hosting some of the world’s greatest withholders, including:

  • Samuel Shh, Lost Word Wonder
  • Esther Pshaw who Never Learned Language
  • The Brow
  • Oooooooooo the Unsignified
  • Ernie Lacks and his Talking Tacks
  • Crayola the Amnesia Artist delivering her latest Unimonolog
  • The Order of Oats, who swore an oath involving oats
  • And with musical accompaniment kept very down to business by Give an Inch and the Hisses.

Don’t miss this opportunity to see Ottawa at its most inexpressive. Come be seen and not heard. 

Rattles and Drums


“Why are you scared of our rattles and drums?”

Words from indigenous youth and women marching for Wet’suwet’en, addressed to the heavily armed “lethal overwatch” deployed to monitor them. Last year’s Joint Statement with Inner Island remains painfully up-to-date with current events. I have within the last few weeks personally witnessed astounding bravery and living poetry in the defiance of indigenous youth fighting back for their existence.

JA

Ottawa, February 24, 2020

Check out the Wet’suwet’en supporter toolkit:
http://unistoten.camp/supportertoolkit/


And sign up for their newsletter to receive updates untainted by Canadian colonial interests:
https://unistoten.camp/support-us/newsletter/

(Photos taken from the Indigenous Solidarity Ottawa Facebook Group)

Valentine Manifestation

Tonight I was searching a video streaming site for something totally different when the giallo film The Perfume of the Lady in Black by Francesco Barilli came up in my results. Having just seen this recommendation from fellow surrealist DC online, I took the opportunity to watch it. One striking coincidence occurred. The film has a scene which features a music box containing a ballerina figurine, presented to the main character, Silvia, by an Alice-like incarnation of her childhood self. Silvia recognizes the figurine as one from her childhood because of its missing arm. The thing is… I had seen and photographed this exact ballerina figure in Ottawa. It was EXACTLY the same as one I had taken a photo of a while back while browsing a junk store. How exact? Not only the same make—the same arm is missing.


-JA, February 14, 2020

Photographed in Ottawa in May 2019

The Object Beautician

We are pleased to announce that we have just hatched a a new little book of surrealist games, inquiries and other oddities with Peculiar Mormyrid Press

You can order it online from here:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/ottawa-surrealist-group/the-object-beautician-and-other-terrors/paperback/product-24399692.html

And here is a free PDF version:
https://peculiarmormyrid.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/Ottawa_1.pdf

Many thanks to Steven Cline at Peculiar Mormyrid Press for helping us get this in shape.