LIVE ACTION IRRATIONAL ENLARGEMENT OF A PAINTING FOR SALE AT A COFFEE SHOP
Q: Who built the building?
PP/SH: A Mormon from east-middle school, St. Petersburg, Ohio, who worships consciousness.
Q: Where does the river flow?
SH: Out of a mouthpiece of a giant helmet, which is itself made of water. An ice-helmet.
PP: A wormhole of matter.
Q: What colour is the grass at night?
JA: The colour of a maniac’s wet dream.
SH: It pulses with the iridescent tips of penises.
PP: Midway remnants of the Sun.
Q: What lives under the bridge?
SH/PP: An insane Castilian with a mop who is continuously mopping the river and straining it out into a bucket of emptiness while his wife twirls like a dervish beside him.
Q: Who lives in the castle?
JA/PP: Sa’ad (SH)’s doppelgänger, with chrome teeth and a patch on his eye.
SH: A slippery eel made from the wax of a child’s tears.
Q: If the river is not water, what is it?
PP: A viscous fluid of anthropomorphic immeasurability.
JA: The cotton candy that comes out of processed nightmares.
SH: An out of control gay orgy where the sweat and semen are so sparkling with unfulfilled lust that it turns blue.
Q: Describe the rocks.
SH: The buttocks of ashen maidens sticking out of the water so that sailors can look and say “no thanks.”
JA: Whatever they are, they are hungry.
Q: What’s on the other side of the forest?
PP: A penitentiary for mentally ill children born in the castle and deemed unfathomably radioactive.
SH: A prism made from irises of such unbelievable complexity that all light beams refract inside it in ever newer patterns, and never escape.
Q: Describe the smell of the air.
SH: Like harsh bleach and the howling of disrespective housewives.
JA: Like frequent tigers.
PP: And mist like an elephant’s trumpet.
Q: What happens to this scene at the end of time?
PP: The earth erupts under its foundations.
SH: A man with unbearable OCD is asked a very difficult question and he smooths the whole thing away with his worrying hands.
PP: It turns out he’s an alien, and he had a spaceship in the cellar. He takes off into the sky.
-January 31 2019.