Decomposing with Dignity

I spoke to the green gull

That forth cometh through the window like road kill,

The strange bowler hat with deep fried pickle grease inside.

The queen of the sea devours sailors;

They go off into a mad teacup

Of distilled essence of the life that never ended in

a spaghettifying mummified cat carcass buried in the walls of your pelvis.

The golden wings of the princes sick of transforming straw:

The great crow squawks,

Squabbles, squirts, and scopes indetermined mind over matter,

Disintegrates into a drop of mercury sliding down your throat.


A collective, blind poem by Jason Abdelhadi, Lake, Patrick Provonost, and Vittoria Lion, played on March 18 2018. Written in turns, only the last word of each line was revealed to the next player. 


Utopian Extremophilia

In this game, a utopian condition is given, which the players must then develop to its most extreme, often dystopian limit.


“Lovable stuffed animals come to life.”

Children assisted by stuff animals murder all adults. Dolls turn children into dolls when they reach a certain age to ensure they do not grow into adults. Immortal dolls and toys forever. In the end, nobody to play with. A stuffed doll unable which is unable to be the object of play.

“All keys can open everything.”

Curious people would open doors into the future, solve all the problems but gain too much knowledge of super-being celestial terrors and go mad in a Lovecraftian fashion. Everyone has to deal with people walking into every house. All passwords would work on all accounts and everything would be accessible. Any piano key could play any song. Any key on a phone can be used to call anyone, even the President. Implosion of all privacy, complete transparency of institutions.

“Everyone is physically comfortable and healthy all of the time regardless of what they do to themselves.”

No illness, nobody needs to bathe or be hygienic or eat, all mental distinctions and character traits derived from physical incapacities and traumas would be wiped out. The value of labour would be driven down by all the free time and the length of life. People would be unable to fake sick days  or malinger, no pretense of unwellness, no leisure – no internal life, no creativity, people can be punished for their actual choices and not hide behind health issues. No exercise, no gains, physical culture would die, people would turn into Greek statues. Perhpaps this is the origin of classical sculpture.

A Rune Reading

PP drew some impromptu runes, and then afterwards interpreted them for us. To be read clockwise.

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  1. Question
  2. Intrigue
  3. Fallen
  4. Pict / Picked/ Prodded
  5. Blocked
  6. Captured
  7. In a cell
  8. Pleasures
  9. Retribution / strength
  10. Reading a sign / path
  11. Gateway
  12. Feast
  13. A great climb
  14. A building with stairs
  15. Inversion
  16. Inversion / waking
  17. A new dawn


A Nondescript Stocking

Some recent games arising from the November-December headspace, in the waning light of the solstice, as the nights got longer and darker.

Meeting of the Ottawa Surrealist Winter Warmies Group during a -28 cold snap. It was so cold our warmth wear had to run the meeting for us.

The Game of Precursors

Nothing comes from nothing. Name the precursor, analogical antecedent or genealogical ancestor for a particular object. 

The precursor of toothbrushes was the biting of a horse’s mane.
The precursor of sleep was arousal.
The precursor of dinner was fright.
The precursors of forks were very tiny knives.
The precursors of sandwiches were farms.
The precursors of maps were flecks of ink stuck to a page.
The precursors of molars were roller blades.
The precursor of streets was imperialism.
The precursors of tangled hairs were spider webs.
The precursors of bulldogs were bullcats.
The precursors of pinecones were nailguns.
The precursors of fingers were warts.
The precursors of batteries were genies in a lamp.
The precursors of rats were jelly beans.
The precursors of doorknobs were doormice.
The precursors of bees were dryer lint.
The precursor of flame was flatulence.

The Objectification of Morals

A game invented by the Surrealist Group of Stockholm:

“It was a simple analogy game where we found concrete objects as correlates to abstract concepts. We chose an abstract concept, each player suggested one sensory characteristic associated with the concept, and from the constellation of adjectives we kept discussing until we found an object that embodied all these sensory characteristics.”
-icecrawler/heelwalker, from the post Surrealism is a Shrimp


Hard, bloody, black, aggressive, blunt, silent, limpid…

A pirate.

“Opposition is a pirate”


Sweet, soft, liquid, furry, clean, efficient…


“Amelioration is a bee”


Feathered, cold, spicy, metallic, sharp, messy…

A Weathervane.

“Revenge is a weathervane”


Buzzing, whirling, short of breath, heavy, soggy …

A pug

“Confusion is a pug”

Question and Answer

Baby Ogre Apiary Queen.jpg

Where can I throw my refuse?

The deserted apiary.

Who brought ruin to Rome?

That group of insecure teenagers.

How do I learn about advanced math as an adult?

By means of a meat-grinder and lots of time.

Bathroom Culture
The canoe beneath the river which is simultaneously a smeared pair of tighty-whities sees the zodiacal spokes of bathroom culture in its inner eye.

A Visit from Beatriz, or the Occult Elevator

Beatriz Hausner also visited us from Toronto. Here’s a group portrait of the evening, “The Occult Elevator”.

Occult Elevator

 (Various players: AC, L, JR, JA, KM, MM and BH)

Mr. Fiddlesticks Florence

Introducing Mr. Fiddlesticks Florence:


Troll Face,
Roundfaced Glitter Lady,
Sociopathic Emoji,

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Starch Führer,
The Black Ghost of the Cute Moth,
A Techno-Mao Tankie
Orally fixated on a harmonica made of paper,
And ‘is lovely missus.


“That scares me.”
“Perhaps some comforting things. Like a bed, with mints on the pillows, and an offering of a diploma – do these make it better?”


(JA, JR, L, AC, KM, SJ  – November 7th 2017)